More British Fun.

There is more to British apart from their choice of choicest surnames and their tendency of naming their houses, lanes, parks, streets, towns and what-not after parts of the human anatomy (Please refer to my previous post).Scots hate them, and so do we. We all know why we hate them, but why the Scots hate them is a very funny (madeup) story.

Lone long time ago, when the Scots and Britsh were close friends, The Scottish king( For convenience and due to lack of any creative ideas, I name him King Scot) had a whim. He wanted to name all the lochs(lakes in Scottish) in Scotland. He asked his wise high priest, Mr. Wise for help.

Mr. Wise, was wiser than what his name suggested! I mean extremely wise! He told the king that he should bring in a British Mapmaker to do the job. Mr. Wise knew that the British were in the habit of conquering kingdoms and drawing maps of it. And that they were good at it - both conquering and Map-making.

It was a brilliant idea. Allowing Britishers to draw a map of Scotland, without allowing them to conquer it! The king saluted the idea. It was a brilliant plan. King Scot sent a messenger to the Queen of England; addressed henceforth as The Queen.

The Queen was more than happy to comply with King Scot's request. She asked her leading mapmaker, Mr Super Map to help the Scots draw their map.

After three days of hectic travel, Mr. Super Map reached Scotland along with the messenger. He was overwhelmed by the spectacular welcome that was arranged for him - Women, Music and Wine!

That very night, a heavily drunk, Mr. Super Map started his task of drawing the map. He started naming the lakes - Loch Katrine, Lock Lomond, Loch Ness (famous for the adorable 500 tonne Loch Ness Monster, or Nessie as he is fondly addressed), Loch Fyne, and so on and so forth till he was totally depleted of ideas.

He had 2 more lakes to name but he did not know what to call them.

Tired, drunk, and emptied of ideas he decided to name one as Lochie (Yeah! That's right! Lock Lochie :-) and the other one as Lake of Meredith.

Now you know why the Scots hate Britishers.
- What the hell is one 'Lake' doing in between so many 'Lochs'?
- And what kinda name is Loch Lochie anyways? Would you like it if you were christened Tom Tommie or worse Hank Hankie?

The story has a gruesome ending with Mr. Super Map losing his head so I am skipping the details!

But as I mentioned earlier, from that day onwards, the Scots and the British are at loggerheads with each other.

Cheers,
Rosh