Dear Mr SLB (Sanjay Leela Bhansali),
How are you today? If you are fine, then please do read this. If you aren't then please save this for a fine morning!
Sir, you are the only person who has the ability to get Aishwarya to act. So I have a lot of respect for you. But this time you have committed a grave sin by ruining a brilliant Fyodor Dostoevsky's play "White Nights".
You should be whipped and made to apologize to the public for wasting our money as well as your own. You should be tied to a chair and made to watch Saawariya 10 times. I would have said 100, but then such is the pain inflicted on the senses by one viewing of the movie; that 10 sounds a good enough punishment.
I may review.......re-review this movie again but it is not going to change my views!
Sir you have committed the following sins for which you will be held accountable.
- A Poetic Mass Murder
- Assault on the senses..
- Painting the majestic Venetian (I guess it was Venice like city coz I could see helluva lot of Gondolas) canvas with utter Bull Crap!
- Undeniable Black...(Blue rather!) For not having spanked the art director when he presented you with suck a spankful idea of art!
- A jarring and loud background music throughout the entire length of the movie. Well, actually it was DEAFENING!
- Overblown melodrama...underbaked story.
- "I don't likes this, Gulaabji!" A talented Rani wasted.
- Starkids - Ranbir, Sonam ok. Ranbir grins, Sonam laughs. (Or was she crying?)
- Sonam declined to expose, so you made Ranbir do the exposing bit! What an idea, Sirjee! Dhishum...Dhishum...Dhadham!!
- What's the fascination with the neon lights, anyways?
“Ek mein six-pack, ek mein bare ass…. hot hai sir.. hot”
LOL!!!
Ab khamiyan to sari likh di, ab kuch tareefein baki hain. The title track is brilliant. Monty's composition and the renedition of the same by the new kid on the blocks - Shail Hada is definitely the only high point of the movie.
Cheers,
Rosh
3 comments:
I'll probably still be watching it - not that i am a sadist!
haaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
cant stop lauging yaar ...such a well-written review ...u must have tried n newspapers ... SLB couldn't have resisted this one ... but honestly, am still wanting to see the movie ...
so will let u know my thoughts later :))
@cyberkitty : Hmmm! Good luck yaar.
@rai : Thaks dear! I know y you will be watching it. Something to do with the 'Towelgate' controversy :) Right?
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